QUESTION FROM NICK
(not his real name): I am 31 years of age, unmarried and under
treatment of anxiety disorder ... Is it a sin if I remain unmarried?
STEPHEN'S ANSWER: No,
the Bible doesn't says so. Lord Jesus, who was without sin (see
Hebrews 4:15), was not married; Apostle Paul and possibly some
other Apostles of Jesus were also not married in their lifetime.
Besides these facts, there are passages in the Bible that exclusively
address this issue of celibacy and suggest a negative answer
to your question. Read the following passage from 1 Corinthians
7:7-9 and see what Paul is saying here to the unmarried:
"7Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself
am. However, each man has his own gift from
God, one in this manner, and another in that. 8But
I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is good
for them if they remain even as I. 9But if they do
not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry
than to burn with passion." (Emphasis added)
Paul
makes it clear that it is good for one to remain unmarried, just
as he himself was unmarried, except if one can't control him/herself
and is burnt with passion and desires. Moreover, Paul suggests
that celibacy is a gift from God (verse 7b). Jesus speaks on the
issue of celibacy in Matthew 19:12 that some were born to live
a single life, some were made by others to be unable to marry,
yet some others choose to live a single life for the sake of God's
kingdom. Celibacy is only for "those to whom it has been
given" (Matthew 19:11). So what exactly are the benefits
of remaining unmarried? Paul explains further in 1 Corinthians
7:26-35:
"26I think then that this is good in view of the
present distress, that it is good for a man to remain
as he is. 27Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be released.
Are you released from a wife? Do not seek a wife. 28But if you
marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has
not sinned. Yet such will have trouble in this life,
and I am trying to spare you. 29But this I say, brethren,
the time has been shortened, so that from now on those who have
wives should be as though they had none; 30and those who weep,
as though they did not weep; and those who rejoice, as though
they did not rejoice; and those who buy, as though they did
not possess; 31and those who use the world, as though they did
not make full use of it; for the form of this world
is passing away. 32But I want you to be free from concern.
One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of
the Lord, how he may please the Lord; 33but one who
is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he
may please his wife, 34and his interests are divided. The woman
who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things
of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit;
but one who is married is concerned about the things of the
world, how she may please her husband. 35This I say for your
own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote
what is appropriate and to secure undistracted devotion
to the Lord. " (Emphasis added)
Paul gives three reasons
why an unmarried life is beneficial. First, it avoids
distress and trouble in this life (verses 26-28). When
a man and woman join together for marriage, they bring problems
and troubles from each side of their families into one family.
Many would agree that marriage has brought them more sorrow and
pain than happiness and joy. In light of this, Paul says in verse
28b that he is trying to spare those happy bachelors from the
distress and trouble in a married life. Second, it is
a preparation for the life to come (verses 29-31). Paul
understands that marriage is an institution only for this world,
which is passing away in a short time. Jesus says in Luke 20:34-36:
"The sons of this age marry and are given in marriage,
but those who are considered worthy to attain to that age
(that is, the new heaven and earth prepared for the glorified
children of God, see Revelation 21-22) and the resurrection
from the dead, neither marry nor are given in marriage; for they
cannot even die anymore, because they are like angels, and are
sons of God, being sons of the resurrection." Therefore,
the sons and daughters of God who live an unmarried life in this
age are more prepared for the life in the new age to come. Third
and last, it is a life of undistracted devotion to the Lord
(verses 32-35). Paul simply believes that singles are more able
to focus their interest and attention on the things of the Lord
rather than things of the world and live a holy physical and spiritual
life.
To conclude, I agree
with Paul that an unmarried life is a gift from God and is beneficial
in various ways to those who can accept it. It is still up to
you to discern whether you have been given this gift and called
into it. Pray about it everyday. If you feel marriage is the call,
I do suggest you to finish the treatment program you are in right
now before making a marriage commitment. May the Lord keep you,
guide you and bless you in the ways ahead.
Scripture quotations taken from the
New American Standard Bible.
Further questions or comments on this
answer may be sent to Stephen at here.
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